


Now He’s Gone...

by lucyyy_writes, Naya_Writing



Category: Glee, klaine - Fandom
Genre: Klaine romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 07:20:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20336275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucyyy_writes/pseuds/lucyyy_writes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naya_Writing/pseuds/Naya_Writing
Summary: Hi guys, this is our first fanfiction on AO3 We would appreciate it if you left kudos and comments i guess.—————————————————————This fanfiction starts after the death of Finn Hudson. Most of the relationships are the same except that Blaine Anderson is the brother of Finn, rather than Kurt, sorry if it gets confusing





	1. The funeral ⚰️

people mourn in different ways. it’s natural to grieve, healthy even. I look around the solemn church yard, and can see the five stages of grief showing in my friends, and family. One session of ‘therapy’ with Mrs. Pillsbury taught me these five stages- first, denial and isolation, second, anger. Next bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance. These 5 emotions are shown on different people, some closer to me than others. Denial and isolation showed by Burt. He’s stood in the distance, roughly 10 metres from everyone else, behind an oak tree. Anger is shown by Noah Puckerman as he grips his suit, ready to rip it off, ready to throw himself in there and bring finn back to life. Beiste comes into my view, she is showing acceptance, as I am now. She stands next to Puck as he pummels her chest, letting out the anger he had bottled up inside him. depression is shown by Rachel Berry, Finn’s fiancé. She is stood next to my boyfriend Kurt, and his best friend, Mercedes. Although, not crying, her eyes are red and puffy. One would assume she was accepting it now, but no one understands the difficulty me and santana had getting her up this morning. Finally, bargaining. Shown by Carole, Finn’s mother. Stood with Finn’s grandparents and other relatives, her face said ‘If only I had told him to be safe’ ‘If only I had stopped rambling about my stupid problems’ I walked over to Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes and watched as Finn’s coffin was gently lowered into the ground. And with each shovel of dirt thrown upon him, it felt as though that soil was weighing down my heart, getting heavier and heavier, making harder and harder to be able to clear it away. I knew Rachel felt the same. After the wake, Kurt and I decided to walk home, to clean our heads together. Kurt said something to me that made me really question, why? “I was with you when you got the phone call that Finn had died, I stood next to you at the funeral, and I couldn’t help but notice one thing. You haven’t cried. Not once”   
And I knew, I thought I didn’t have it as bad as the people that surrounded me today, as I watched my very own brother be buried. I thought Rachel, Burt and Carole had it worse. But what does that matter? When I’m with Kurt nothing matters anymore. I’m myself. “It’s as if my brain has accepted he’s gone... but my heart feels otherwise” We walked in silence for a while, until we reached my old house where we were staying for the week. I told Kurt I was going to go to bed, but he told me he needed to speak to me. It wasn’t late, only 5:30, but my heart hurt so badly, I just needed to cry. I say down on the bed opposite Kurt and before he could even get his first sentence out, my face was soaking and my hands trembling. I saw tears build in my boyfriend’s eyes and I crumbled into a ball on his lap. I felt warm tears drop on to my hair and I felt more at peace than I have for the past couple weeks. I sit up to find Kurt’s face completely lost in another world, I asked him what he was thinking about. He was silent. I brought him in for a hug and I whispered in his ear “it’ll all be ok”   
I sat up abruptly. “It will all be okay? Are you serious? Kurt, my brother is dead!” I yelled, angrily.


	2. Part 2

I know that, I’m devastated too, but what I mean is- we can push through this. Find the light at the end of the tunnel!” He told me gently, slightly startled by my sudden mood change.

“I don’t think you understand, Kurt. I am nothing with out him. There is nothing without him.”

kurt’s pov

“There is nothing without him!” Blaine yelled at me.  
What did he just say? There is nothing without Finn? I feel for him, I really do, his brother just died. But to make a statement that bold? And in front of me no less! He said there was nothing without Finn, so clearly I fall in to the ‘Nothing’ category. I was so mad at him. What he said was really insensitive and pushed me over the edge of the cliff of emotions I was so precariously balanced on.

“That’s it. You need some space to calm down and think over what exactly you just said to me.” I hissed coldly, standing up and pushing him from my lap.

“What? I-I don’t understand? Kurt!!” He said, evidently surprised my my sudden outburst.

“I said, You need some spac- No. I need space from you. And you need to think over what you just said!” I repeated, furiously grabbing my coat from the rack.   
And before he could say another word, I was slamming the door.  
I walked around the streets of new york, not knowing where I was going. I ended up back at the house, my gut told me I shouldn’t have left Blaine, even though he did say that, it wasn’t him speaking. As I stood begrudgingly outside the door I could hear Blaine moving around, it seemed as though he was moving furniture. I opened the door, giving in to my stubbornness and my boyfriend turned around. I could see how red his eyes were, and how he bites his lip when he cries. I walk into our bedroom and sit on the bed, knowing he’ll come in

Blaine’s POV   
I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. Kurt would know I’ve been crying, there’s no point trying too hard to hide it. I watched as Kurt walked to our bedroom, and heard as he sat down on our bed, the slight creak of the floorboards as he set his shoes down quietly. I entered the bedroom and sat on the other side of the bed. Kurt looked at me sympathetically and pulled me in for a hug “I’m nothing without you” I whispered. “All I wanna do, all I ever want to do is spend my life loving you”  
I melted into Kurt’s embrace, nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his calming scent.   
“Then tell me that!” Kurt responded, exasperated. “Don’t say that there’s nothing when you know full well that I’m here for you!”   
I tensed.   
“That’s why you left earlier? Because you thought you meant nothing to me?” I asked, pulling away.   
Kurt looked down at his hands dejectedly. My heart lurched at the thought of meaning nothing to Kurt so the fact that I had actually said it, made my insides roil with guilt. I cupped his face with my hands, looking deeply into his gorgeous eyes. “Kurt, I am SO sorry for making you feel that way. I didn’t mean it at all! You have to know that! You know that right?” He looked back down at his hands. “Yes...” he mumbled. I raised an eyebrow, mockingly. “ Yes!” He said with more determination than before.   
“Good.” I whispered against his lips.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a really short part, we haven’t had much time on it-  
Kudos and comments appreciated

2 weeks later  
It’s the first week back at NYADA since Finn died. I walked down the halls and the sympathetic stares of everyone burned into my chest. I walked into the nearest room, the auditorium, my head clouding up. I shrunk down against the wall and everyone that I’d spoken to at Finn’s funeral appeared in my head. As it got more and more difficult for me to breathe, the people stepped forward and told me I wasn’t worth it without Finn. They were chanting ‘Blaine, Blaine, Blaine’ louder and louder. Until someone grabbed my shoulders. I opened my eyes to see Kurt looking anxiously at me. My face was wet with tears and my hands cramped from squeezing them tightly. As soon as I saw the familiar face of my boyfriend, I relaxed slightly. I think it’s time to tell Kurt exactly what’s been going on when I go out in the evenings.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt stared at me, face void of emotion.   
“Where you’ve been... going? Blaine...?” He asked, slowly.  
I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his face as I told him.  
“After Finns....death,” I began feeling the my stomach gradually uncurling from the knot it spent weeks tied up in, “I began having these panic attacks..”   
“Panic attacks?”   
“Yeah..”   
I could feel Kurt shift beside me, whether he was edging away or closer I could not tell.   
“Blaine.. I don’t understand. Why would you not tell me!? I could have help— “   
“BECAUSE I WAS ASHAMED!” I interrupted, voice raising slightly. “I didn’t want you to see me in that state!” I elaborated, not wanting to go into specifics of the panic attacks. I opened my eyes, just a fraction to see Kurt’s face. I shouldn’t have. Usually, when Kurt was angry, he shouted.


	5. Chapter 5

Usually, when Kurt got angry, he shouted. But when I peeked over at him, he was sat, rigid, leaning slightly away from me. His often extremely readable face, was blank, as though someone had erased all emotion from it. “Did you go through.. it.. alone?” He said. That was the worst part, his voice.   
My mum, when she was disappointed used to go all calm, but when she spoke, her voice was like ice. Kurt was doing that now- and it frightened me. I shook my head, “no.” I paused to take in his facial expression, his eyes glazed over, looking blank. “Santana has been helping me”   
KURTS POV   
I was angry, no, I was upset. I don’t know how I was feeling when he told me about it, the only question I could think of was “why didn’t you tell me, Blaine?” But now, as he clearly tried to figure out what I was thinking, and couldn’t work it out, I felt as though somehow it was my fault he didn’t tell me. “Santana has been helping me” he said, quietly, I knew he felt bad for keeping it from me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a bit longer but a bit rushed so might not be as good quality

KURTS POV   
I was angry, no, I was upset. I don’t know how I was feeling when he told me about it, the only question I could think of was “why didn’t you tell me, Blaine?” But now, as he clearly tried to figure out what I was thinking, and couldn’t work it out, I felt as though somehow it was my fault he didn’t tell me. “Santana has been helping me” he said, quietly, I knew he felt bad for keeping it from me. I looked him in the eyes and told him “it’s ok, we’ll get through this together” and although he smiled, his eyes sunk. “what’s wrong?” I was thinking. I then told myself to stop being stupid, he’s just had a panic attack about his dead brother, what was I doing questioning what’s wrong? I got in after Blaine tonight, I bought home his favourite Cronuts. The apartment was dark, except from one light in the bedroom. I heard him talking to someone, then heard santana’s voice come back. “Blaine, I’m home” I called. He said goodbye to santana and came out to see me. He smiled at the cronuts “you didn’t have to”. I asked him what he was talking to Santana about, he explained that he was telling her about today’s panic attack.


End file.
